If Only
by Starlight-Rebel
Summary: If only things had gone differently than it had. If only there was another way. If only there was a way to change everything. If only they all could've been saved in some way. If only... A series of one-shots. Takes place during and after Avengers: Infinity War.
1. Thanos

**_Me: So, I finally saw Avengers: Infinity War after it came on Show Box and…..I don't even have enough tears left to cry now. It was really that sad. And I began thinking, what if things had gone differently in the movie? Or if some of the characters wanted to change what they did? Well, these are their_** ** _thoughts. Anywho, I'm going give you the first chapter. While you read that, I'm going to go cry silently in the corner. Enjoy._**

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 ** _Disclaimer: Starlight does not own Marvel._**

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 ** _Nobody's POV_**

He isn't happy.

Sure, he got what he wanted and was happy for a few moments. But…he isn't _happy_. But, why? He accomplished his goal. No planet will ever be near the brink of extinction again. No planet will be destroyed like his was. But still, why? It's has if there's an empty, aching part in his heart. Is it from the wound that was once in his chest? No, that can't be it. Is it from all that power from the Infinity Stones? No, that isn't it either. Is it from….No….He had to do it. He had to in order for him to finish his mission. He had to in order for there to be balance. In order for everyone to be happy without any starvation or any danger in there way. He had to…..He had to kill his _daughter_ ….

His beloved daughter. The one he cared for the most…..

Why? Why couldn't there be another way? Why did he have to give her up– _kill_ her!–to get the Soul Stone? Why did it have to be what he loved the most? Why couldn't it have been what he hated the most? And he couldn't bring her back or else he would've lost the Soul Stone and never achieved his goal. He _can't_ bring her back. Not with the gauntlet _destroyed_.

If only there had been another way. If only he didn't need the Infinity Stones to bring balance to the universe. If only he didn't have to kill her…If only….

Thanos is not happy.

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 ** _Me: Yeah, I know that was short. But it's Thanos's POV. Anywho, the next will either be up tomorrow or a few days later._**


	2. Tony

**_Disclaimer: Starlight does not own Marvel._**

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When Tony first saw Mantis fade away into dust, the first thing that came to mind was…'He's done it…' And how Strange had said there was no other way….He couldn't really believe it. Had there really been no other way for them to win? Another way without sacrifices?Another way besides the people he _cared_ about _dying_? But what came next…everything just came crashing down at that point.

The memory comes flying back.

 _"Mr. Stark?…I-I don't feel so good.."_

 _"You're alright.."_

Oh how he wishes that was true.

 _"I don't-I don't know what's happening!..I don't.." The kid falls onto Tony, clutching him as he cries into his chest. "I don't want to go. I don't want to go, Mr. Stark! Please. Please, I don't want to go. I don't want to go….."_

Tony can still feel his hands grabbing and crying into his suit and shirt. His shirt is still wet with his tears.

 _The kid falls to the ground as he becomes weaker. Tony huddled over him and the kid looks at him one last time with those broken brown eyes…_

 _"..I'm sorry…"_

 _He crumbles to dust and it floats away into the sky.._

Sorry for what? The kid never did anything wrong. Everything he did was _perfect_! So what was he sorry for? What was he _sorry_ for?!..They all should've lived…He should've lived…

 _Drip…_

He stares at his hand, the blood mixed tear sliding down his finger. He hadn't noticed that he started crying due to the memory. He shakes the tear off, wipes the blood off his face, and stand up. He stares at the spot below him, some of the dust still on the ground. The dust which used to be his trainee.

"Thanos is going to pay for this…." He starts stomping his way to the Guardian's ship. "Help me fly this thing!" He calls out to blue skinned alien, Nebula, who follows him.

He starts putting wires together and tapping buttons, trying to figure out how to start the ship. The memory still replays in his mind, over and over and over again.

And, even though Tony may never admit it, Peter Parker was and will _always_ be like a son to him…

 _Always…_

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 ** _Me: (Wipes tears away) I cried while writing this. Peter's death was and will always be the saddest for me. May that little, innocent cinnamon roll Rest In Peace._**


	3. Dr Strange

**_Disclaimer: Starlight does not own Marvel._**

Honestly, this isn't how he thought he would die. He imagined that he would save the world before dying. Or die peacefully. But, of course, that didn't happen. Of course, Thanos just had to swoop in and steal all the Infinity Stones to destroy half of the universe. And of course, they didn't stop him. They _couldn't_ stop him. With all the fourteen million, six hundred and five possibilities of the future, they only won one. And it was in the worst possible way ever.

They had to _lose_ in order to win.

Sure, they had a slim chance of winning when they decided to try to take the gauntlet off of Thanos's ridiculously large, purple hand. But, then again, it was a slim chance. And now…Thanos has all six Infinity Stones. And is wiping the half of the universe at this very instant. And that included most of the people standing here right now.

His eyes slightly widen as he watches Drax and Quill fade away into dust. Seeing his hand fading away, Strange turns to Tony.

 _"Tony…"_ The said person looks at him and Strange stares at him sadly.

"…There was no other way."

And the last thing he sees before completely turning to dust is the young kid stumbling towards Tony as the elder man looks in horror.

There really was no other way to win. Even if it's in the worst possible way, they had to do it. They had to sacrifice everything. They had to lose to win. It doesn't make complete sense. And maybe it never will. But it had to be done. It just had to be. But still. _Still._ If only there was another way. To win without sacrifices. To win without having to die. To win without going through all this.

 _If only…_

 ** _Me: Ok, so, I'm not sure if it's true that failing was the only way they could win. I just made that a theory in my story. Anywho, I hope you all liked it. The next one will be up next week. And I'm going to warn you all. Peter's is next. So, you better be prepared to read it. Until then. (Recording closes)_**


	4. Peter

**_Me: (Nods) Mhm, that right everybody. It's Peter's POV. Now, I hope you all have your boxes of tissues._**

 ** _Camera Man: (moves camera to the 20 boxes of tissues for the readers to see) You sure you need all that? (Turns back to me)_**

 ** _Me: (Nods again) Yes. This chapter may bring back memories of Peter's…..you know. It actually did for me as I wrote it. So, I want to be prepared as I read the chapter with the readers. (Looks at the camera) Anywho, I hope you all like it._**

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 ** _Disclaimer: Starlight does not own Marvel._**

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Ok, maybe going off into space isn't really that scary. And the Vulture incident is actually less scary than this. Sure, that was about him almost _dying_ under that pile of rubble. It scared him for weeks. Actually, it still scares him and he still gets nightmares from it. But it's not as scary as what's happening right now. Why? Because…. _he's going to die._

They couldn't stop him. They couldn't stop _Thanos;_ the big, scary, purple alien; from stealing the Time Stone. But it had to be done. It had to be done in order for them to win. They had to lose in order to win. Yeah, it didn't make sense to him either when Strange first said it. But…that still doesn't stop him from being scared…

And when Dr. Strange gave up the Time Stone to save Mr. Stark's life…..He couldn't think of anything else but the end. And now the others are spiriting away, leaving only him, Mr. Stark, and Dr. Strange left.

 _"Tony."_ They turn around to see Dr. Strange slowly fading into dust, too. And he couldn't do anything but stand there and watch with fear. _"There was no other way."_ The doctor tells the inventor as he fades into dust completely, ending Dr. Strange's existence.

He knows that there was no other way. But why did it have to this way? Why can't they have saved the universe a different way? A way where they don't have to watch the people they car about and themselves die? Oh god….What if Aunt May, Ned, or MJ are _turning into dust right now_? He can't even think of a life without them.

 _Ack!_ A sudden pain occurs and he hunches over, holding his stomach.

 _"M-Mr. Stark?"_ The said man turns around, fear showing in his eyes. "I-I don't feel so good…"

"You're alright." But he can see the fear growing in his mentor's eyes, not even believing what he said himself.

 _Hummmmm!….._

 _No…_

"I don't- _I don't know what's happening!..I_ don't.." He falls into his mentor, clutching him as he cries into his chest. "I don't want to go. _I don't want to go, Mr. Stark! Please._ Please, I don't want to go. _I don't want to go….."_

Flashes of Aunt May, Ned, MJ, and everyone else he cares about flies through his head. What will happen if they find out? He definitely knows that they'll be crushed. And he knows that he can't live without them.

He continues to cry as the elder man clutches him tightly, also shaking very slightly. He can feel himself getting weaker and he couldn't hold onto his mentor any longer. He lets go and lays on the ground, the man hovering over him as fear, disbelief, and horror covers his face and is shown clearly in his eyes.

 _"…I'm sorry…."_

 _I'm sorry for all my mistakes that you had to fix. I'm sorry for not listening to you most of the time. I'm sorry for not being a better somewhat of a student. I'm sorry for not know better. I'm sorry for not being able to save the universe with you and the others. I'm sorry for everything….._

And the last thing Peter sees his Mr. Stark's…. _Tony's_ face staring at him in horror, tears brimming in his eyes as he slowly turns into dust.

As Spider-Man is wiped from existence.

 _I'm sorry…._

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 ** _Me: (Cries) That innocent cinnamon roll….(blows nose and throws it into the trash can which is close to overflowing) [Camera Man's name will not be revealed] and I just watched the movie again. And it's so sad! I can't believe that they killed him. And Tom Holland changing the scene and words just made it even sadder and…and…(softly cries) I'm going o be traumatized by this for a long time…_**

 ** _Camera Man: (sniffles)_**

 ** _Me: (turns head towards him) Are you crying?_**

 ** _Camera Man: (sniffles again) N-No. Boys can't cry._**

 ** _Me: Boys can too cry. They can't be judged for that, [This will not be revealed due to the Camera Man not wanting it to.]_**

 ** _Camera Man: (tries to secretly take a tissue) I-I'm going to close it now. Hope you all liked it. Next one will be up soon. B-Bye guys. (Blows nose and ends the live recording.)_**


	5. Wanda

**_Disclaimer: Starlight does not own Marvel._**

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When Tony first saw Mantis fade away into dust, the first thing that came to mind was…'He's done it…' And how Strange had said there was no other way….He couldn't really believe it. Had there really been no other way for them to win? Another way without sacrifices?Another way besides the people he _cared_ about _dying_? But what came next…everything just came crashing down at that point.

The memory comes flying back.

 _"Mr. Stark?…I-I don't feel so good.."_

 _"You're alright.."_

Oh how he wishes that was true.

 _"I don't-I don't know what's happening!..I don't.." The kid falls onto Tony, clutching him as he cries into his chest. "I don't want to go. I don't want to go, Mr. Stark! Please. Please, I don't want to go. I don't want to go….."_

Tony can still feel his hands grabbing and crying into his suit and shirt. His shirt is still wet with his tears.

 _The kid falls to the ground as he becomes weaker. Tony huddled over him and the kid looks at him one last time with those broken brown eyes…_

 _"..I'm sorry…"_

 _He crumbles to dust and it floats away into the sky.._

Sorry for what? The kid never did anything wrong. Everything he did was _perfect_! So what was he sorry for? What was he _sorry_ for?!..They all should've lived…He should've lived…

 _Drip…_

He stares at his hand, the blood mixed tear sliding down his finger. He hadn't noticed that he started crying due to the memory. He shakes the tear off, wipes the blood off his face, and stand up. He stares at the spot below him, some of the dust still on the ground. The dust which used to be his trainee.

"Thanos is going to pay for this…." He starts stomping his way to the Guardian's ship. "Help me fly this thing!" He calls out to blue skinned alien, Nebula, who follows him.

He starts putting wires together and tapping buttons, trying to figure out how to start the ship. The memory still replays in his mind, over and over and over again.

And, even though Tony may never admit it, Peter Parker was and will _always_ be like a son to him…

 _Always…_

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 ** _Me: (Wipes tears away) I cried while writing this. Peter's death was and will always be the saddest for me. May that little, innocent cinnamon roll Rest In Peace._**


	6. Rest In Peace

**_I'm sure all of you know about Stan Lee._**

 ** _On the 12th of November, 2018, Stan Lee has passed away. I only found out around 4-6 hours ago I'm very upset that he's gone, but I'm happy that he made it up to 95. He got to live his life._**

 ** _God, I don't even know what to say. I am seriously, legitimately shocked. Part of me always knew this day was going to come. After all, nobody is immortal. Sure, they can live a long time, but they are never immortal. But still?...For it to be today? No more Stan Lee cameos. No more of the funny, amazing man we all know. It seriously breaks my heart._**

 ** _Stan Lee was the man that created the Marvel comics. He created the characters. He spent his life making the comics and characters we all know and love. To me, Stan Lee is a hero. He created the Marvel universe that we all love. Without him, there wouldn't be Spiderman, Ironman, and all the other heroes and characters in the Marvel universe._**

 ** _He's the man who taught me that with great power comes great responsibility through Peter Parker. The man who taught me to be true to my heart through Steve Rogers. The man who taught me to embrace who i am through Tony Stark. To fight for those whom I love through T'Challa. To not let my past define me through Bucky Barnes. To be mentally and physically strong like Natasha Romanova. Thank you, Stan Lee, for teaching me those kinda valuable lessons and gifting us with the Marvel universe and for being you._**

 ** _He's in a better place now. He's up in heaven with his wife. And I hope you all pay your respects to him, remember him, and make sure that this legendary comic created and amazing, kind man's story is passed on. I most certainly will do those three things._**

 ** _Stan Lee truly is a legend. There will never be someone who is like him._**

 ** _Right now, I'm going to take a break from all my stories and pay my respects for him._**

 ** _Rest In Peace, Stan Lee. Have a happy life up there in heaven. We'll always remember you._**

 _ **You may be gone. But you will** NEVER **be forgotten.**_


	7. May

_**Disclaimer: Starlight does not own Marvel.**_

When she first found out that her nephew, the person she _raised_ since he was a toddler, was a vigilante swinging around the streets of New York and fighting criminals, she was furious. Furious that he ran _towards_ the danger instead of running away like she always told him to do. But when he told her the reason why he became that vigilante...She just couldn't stay mad at him. Especially when he blamed himself for Ben's death...

She still remembers that day...

 _"You're Spider-Man?!_ _ **YOU'RE SPIDER-MAN?!**_ _"_

 _He just stands there, fiddling with his thumbs. "Ummm..."_

 _She pulls at her hair. "I can't believe my nephew, the kid I raised since he was a little boy, is Spider-Man!" She turns at him, anger masking her face. "PETER BENJAMIN PARKER!_ _ **Why**_ _did you not_ _ **tell me**_ _this?!_

 _She continues before Peter can even make a sound. "I told you to_ _ **run away**_ _from danger. Not run_ _ **towards**_ _it!"_

 _As she continues to yell and ramble on, Peter just stands there and takes everything in, silently with his eyes slowly, but surely, dropping to meet the ground. After a while, she manages to calm down. Sighing, she sits down on his bed and rests her face into her hands. She feels the bed sink beside her a few moments later but doesn't move._

 _"...I...I never meant to hurt you, Aunt May..." She hears her nephew say softly with that quiet, innocent voice of his. "I-I..I just thought that if you didn't know about any of it, or anyone else for that matter, then you wouldn't get hurt or be a target, May...I wanted to protect you. But I didn't think keeping it a secret would do this to you..._ _ **I'm sorry..."**_

 _May keeps her face in her hands, not saying anything. She didn't even bother to tell him not to call her Aunt May–It made her feel old. Sighing, she picks her head up and looks straight at him._

 _"I know you didn't mean to do it, Peter. You were just being the sweet, kind-hearted, innocent you. But please, don't you ever,_ _ **ever**_ _, keep something like this from me again. What if you have gotten hurt and I wouldn't know about it? What if you...You could've...and I wouldn't..."_

 _Slowly, Peter hugs his aunt and as he does so, a few tears fall down his cheeks._

 _"I promise, May. No more secrets and I'll be more careful...I promise..."_

 _May hugs her nephew back tightly as the two stay silent in the bedroom. May shuts her eyes, no longer wanting to think about her last living family, the boy who has become a son to her, to be dead. She couldn't bear the thought of it. She couldn't bear it at all._

So, a few days after the attack and her nephew nowhere to found, the man who had become like a father to her boy stands in front of her doorway. She invites him in and they sit down from across each other on the couch. Neither of them makes a move. The silence creeps into the apartment, the tension growing stronger and stronger...Until it became too unbearable for the both of them. He makes the first move.

 _"...He's...He's not coming back, May..."_

She looks at him, eyes widen with disbelief. "What?..."

The man clenches his fists on his knees. "He followed me onto the ship." He speaks, struggling with each word that comes out of his mouth. "I couldn't bring him back by the time I found out. He decided to fight beside me and the others. But Thanos was too strong. He won and when he did _The Snap_ , he...he...h-he..."

 _"I don't want to go._ _ **I don't want to go, ! Please.**_ _Please, I don't want to go._ _ **I don't want to go...**_ _"_

The man couldn't bear it anymore. He bursts out into tears, howling like a wounded animal as the memories of the boy he thought of as son crying out in fear came back. May watches him, her mind still trying to comprehend his words. Her boy, her _sweet, little innocent boy_ , is _gone_. _Forever..._ Dusted out of existence like half of Earth was. Slowly, she draws closer to the man, and hugs him, her own tears beginning to fall down her cheeks.

And the two sat there, letting their cries fill the silent atmosphere. Running through her head are all the memories she had with her boy. And running through his head are all the memories he had with his boy.

After several minutes of the two crying into each other's shoulders, they quiet down. May pulls herself away from the man and looks down at her lap. "...He thought of you as a father, Tony..."

The man, Tony, stares at his hands, his eyes boring through them. _"..And I thought of him as a son..."_

May looks up at him with her puffy, red eyes. ' _I know...I've always known...'_

Shifting to his right, Tony opens a small bag that he brought inside with him and pulls out a small jar filled to the top with dust. He holds it out to May, who gently takes it in her trembling hands. "I...I tried to save as much of him as I could." He looks at her with the same puffy, red eyes. "We're going to bring him back. We're going to defeat Thanos and bring everyone back. _I promise._ "

May nods, knowing that Tony will do all he can to fulfill that promise. And then something else clicks in her. "Are Pepper and Happy..." She couldn't finish the sentence.

Tony gives a small, half-hearted smile. "They're both alive."

May let's out a sigh of relief. She's already lost so many. She can't lose anymore. Tony stands up and so does May, still. She opens the door for him to step out. Tony turns around. "We'll be facing him soon, so if...if I don't...tell Pepper that I love her."

May nods once again, though a fierce expression appears on her. "You better make it back, Tony. And same with everyone else fighting with you. Or so help me, Pepper and I will go through time and space to make sure you guys are back safe and sound. And then we'll beat the crap out of you for dying."

Tony gives a small chuckle. "Will do." He turns to his side. "Goodbye, May. And take care of Peter for me."

May glances down at the jar in her hands. _"Always."_

Giving one last sad smile, Tony strides away from the apartment and taps on his chest, the nanotech spreading onto his body, and flies out of a nearby open window. As soon as he was out of sight, May closes the door. Sighing, she goes back to the living room, plopping herself on the couch. She stares at the jar in her arms; the jar that contains the dust that was once _her little Petey._ Pulling it close to her chest, May hugs it.

 _"I'll always be there for you. And no matter what, I'll protect you all I can." She says to the seven year old boy who was just beaten up some elder boys._

 _Her little boy stares up at her and smiles brightly. "I know, Aunt May. You're the best aunt ever! Of course, I know you'll be there!"_

 _She smiles genuinely and hugs him tightly. "You'll always be my little Petey."_

 _He laughs. "Aunt May~."_

May smiles sadly at the memory. She closes her eyes, hugging the jar tighter.

 _I'm sorry for breaking my promise, Peter. I'm sorry for not protecting you when you got bitten by that spider. When you became Spider-Man. When you went off to fight. When you turned to dust...I'm sorry.._

 _ **I'm sorry, Peter...I love you...**_

 _ **Me: That was hard for me to right. I'm still not over their deaths...**_

 _ **Camera Man: (behind the camera) Trust me, she's not.**_

 _ **Me: (glares at him) Like you are,[this name will not be revealed]. You still cry over it, too.**_

 _ **Camera Man: (stays silent)**_

 _ **Me: (rolls eyes and turns back to the camera) Anywho, I hope you all liked it. I just hope this heartache will slightly decrease before I write the next chapter with Peter in it. You know what? I'm going to go speak with Stan about it. (Storms out) STAN!**_

 _ **Stan: (From Marvel studio) What?**_

 _ **Me: We need to talk!**_

 _ **Camera Man: (Sighs) I'm going to close it before you see Star bawling her eyes out over Infinity War again. See ya, guys! (Closes the live recording)**_

 _ **{[This chapter was made before Stan Lee's passing. Therefore, that is why he's in it.]}**_


	8. AN

p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; font-family: Georgia;"span style="font-family: Georgia-BoldItalic; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"Hey, guys! Sorry for updating this before. If you look on Wattpad, the completed version is there, but I forgot to update it here, Sorry. So, I've been really busy lately and after seeing Endgame, I figured this book should come to an end. I am thinking about making a Marvel one-shot–mainly Peter Parker because who doesn't love him–booklet so be sure to look out for that. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this (extremely short) booklet. See ya then!/span/p 


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